We don't expect that you will master all ten
in one shopping weekend. Give yourself time
to practice and hone each skill. If you need
any assistance, we're here to help.
The
Steps
1.
Invest in collapsible shopping bags
and boxes. These are "must have" items
for any serious shopper.
2.
Travel on shopping trips with a truck,
SUV or large convertible suitable for
hauling massive quantities of bargains.
If you don't own one of these, make
a friend of someone who does.
3.
Buy a single item of a larger set (like
a plate) and announce it as a "collection."
This gives you the right to spend as
much time and money as you need, traveling
far and wide if necessary until it is
complete. Repeat process with a new
item. Repeat often, very often.
4. Give
in to the physiological reactions you
feel at the mere thought or mention
of a great yard sale, flea market or
thrift store. This is the cosmos' way
of alerting you to a great find. Go
with it.
5.
Never let a little bit of pesky rust,
missing parts, or chipped paint stop
you from seeing the beauty in an object
you really want.
6.
The difference between needs and wants
is just semantics. Allow those little
desires to become "must haves." Being
a DD is all about being at peace with
your shopping persona, therefore, don't
let inner strife mess up a really good
bargain hunting adventure.
7. This
is the toughest step. Set aside time
to "transform" all of the items you
claim to have bought for this purpose.
Don't feel bad that these items may
have spent years in the dark recesses
of your closet or garage. You were just
waiting for inspiration. If you no longer
feel inspired to transform an item,
sell it.
8.
Master the fine art of distraction.
When your husband/boyfriend/partner
says "what have you dragged home now?"
don't say "What I drag home is my business!"
Instead say, "Honey, isn't there
a football game on today? How about
some subs and beer?"
9.
Learn to explain to your significant
other that you didn't just spend $50...
you saved $120. This requires being
able to quickly do math in your head.
You should practice this skill at least
once a day. For more advanced DDs, practice
this step with a straight face.
10.
Learn to feign dignity if accused of
buying your own items back from the
thrift store to which you donated. If
dignity is too hard to muster in this
situation, simply lie and say "This
is absolutely not the same item I sold.
Mine only had one chip. This has three."
