This section is a top ten list of things to
do or not do to make living with a Discount
Diva easier and more harmonious. We suggest
you print and save the following. Caution:
These guidelines are subject to change at
the whim of any Diva.
The
Top 10 List for Living with a Diva
1.
Make no plans that would involve your
Diva on Saturday mornings between 7:00
AM and at least noon. This includes
sex, or other chores like childcare,
cooking etc.
2.
Learn to frequently and spontaneously
announce…“My wife (girlfriend/partner
etc.) actually saves us money with her
bargain shopping. The more she shops
the more we save.”
3.
Feed her grapes while massaging her
feet after a tough day of resale shopping.
4.
Learn to live with less closet space.
After all, a Discount Diva needs the
space for a variety of outfits so she
looks good for you. She on the other
hand, prefers that you have fewer clothes
as she derives comfort in seeing you
sporting the same thing day after day.
5.
See the huge pile of assorted “junk”
in the garage as potential treasures—items
she has every intention of making over
some day.
6.
Never refer to her bargain shopping
as a hobby. It is a well-honed skill.
7.
Learn the clever art of discreet tag
removal. This move comes in very handy
when your Diva accidentally leaves the
50 cents tag on that expensive looking
blouse she is trying to impress others
with. A bonus move involves stretching
your arm around her shoulders and pulling
her close to you for a big kiss while
your concealed free hand removes the
pesky tag. Her friends will be none
the wiser and will be even more envious
that she has such an affectionate guy
and a great blouse.
8.
When you give her some WAM (walking
around money), make sure it is in large
quantities and includes small denominations.
(We prefer it in wads of ones, fives,
and tens—pre-sorted and wrapped
in rubber bands.)
9.
Learn the art of haggling so she can
call you in to be the bad guy while
she feigns total embarrassment (or stands
at a safe distance).
10.
Don't ever buy her an appliance as a
gift (unless it is small, hand held
and arrives in your mailbox in a brown
paper wrapper).
