DivaTude:
A condition that usually raises it ugly
head in response to a Discount Diva's
shopping excursions or purchases and
if frequent, can lead to a DivaDivorce
(see definition above).
Divaroids:
A delicate but dreaded condition of
a Diva's posterior caused by sitting
on too many chairs with broken springs.
Dusty:
Old
Early
bird: Named after a bird,
(the vulture) these individuals are
easy to spot. They are the ones leaving
the yard sale with all the good stuff
as you pull in at the advertised opening
time.
Rust:
Patina
Storage
unit: A post-shopping
accessory that is a must have for any
true Discount Diva. It is a haven for
her to temporarily place her many treasures
and future transformation projects while
she awaits a bigger house that can properly
display these items. Note: On rare occasions
a Discount Diva might encounter resistance
from others (typically partners) about
the perceived “need” for storage
units as well as the monthly cost. A
crafty Diva will simply calculate all
the money she saved from the bargain
shopping that resulted in the need for
storage in the first place and then
explain that it is these savings that
will more than pay for the cost of storage.
Three
legged table: Exactly
the same as a 4-legged table except
that it becomes far more valuable to
the Discount Diva who purchases it after
she pays monthly storage unit fees while
it awaits its matching fourth leg.
Treasures:
This is a term that covers anything
and everything that a Discount Diva
purchases. Beware that some less enlightened
folks (i.e., non-Discount Divas and
Dudes) might accidentally refer to these
treasures as “junk.”
WWIT:
“What was I thinking?” This
is a dreaded statement that a true Discount
Diva makes very rarely but it usually
follows the realization that a purchased
item's need for transformation vastly
exceeds its “transformative”
potential.
Yard Sale:
(a). From the seller's perspective:
A chance to unload at a fraction of
their original purchase price, all of
the little treasures you bought at a
sale in someone else's yard.
(b). From the buyer's perspective:
A chance to buy really great
stuff from someone else's
yard that you too can sell
in your own yard
sale (for much less than you
paid of course!)
